Sunday, May 13, 2007


Ever hear of the "Richard Petty Driving Experience"? For those of you that haven't let me explain. You can go and either ride with a pro in a NASCAR style racing car or even drive it yourself.

Well, Ms. Stahl of 60 Minutes....I would like to take you for a Realtor Ride Driving Experience. So if you read this come along for a day..even two. HAHAHAHA I'm betting you will wonder why 6% is all we charge.

Man, oh man! What I wouldn't do to have that blond hang out with me for one day as I go prospecting. I'm betting if she ran that story (using hidden cameras so the sellers, (FSBO's, Expireds, Withdrawns, etc) are not even aware that there is some filming going on and they will treat me with the same disrespect that I would normally receive from 90% of the people I attempt to talk to during that day of prospecting) then, maybe, JUST MAYBE, someone would see why 6% is SQUAT.

Factor in the amount of hours (that Remax agent failed to mention that part)The amount of gas it takes to run a Lexus ---sure wish I knew because I don't own one I own a 12 SPM (SPM = STATION per MILE) :) Jeep that I can hopefully fit Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Grandma Smith (Mom in law who has to be sure her daughter is getting the best house) Little Joey and Sarah Smith - who I have to buy candy, coke and other goodies for to keep them occupied (and then take my car to the detailers to get the "goodies" cleaned from the upholstery and carpet)

Cost of buying a new computer because I have to keep up with the online discounters and pay P2A for the wonderful hosting and features of my own website and without the new computer I can't even stay in business.

And I sure hope this day she spends with me happens on the same day that I have to pay my board dues! Yea, there goes 6% of my income! LOL

Then from the board we will drive over to the printer to have those wonderful flyers made up where she can watch me shell out $0.31 each for 1000 of them.

Then we will stop by the sign maker where I shell out another $160 for 25 open house signs because 14 of the last 25 I bought have mysteriously come up missing while I was doing that open house that I just spent $150 to advertise in the newspaper for one day (see my BLOG on the the OMG WHAT A DEAL and Homes and Land Magazine - which by the way if made a stop by to pay that bill would be a mere $700 for the month).

Then we stop by the office to stuff those flyers and stamp them which just cost us another $150 or so.

Oh crap, we forgot to get the post cards for the Just Sold cards for that listing we finally were able to get sold because it was overpriced by a stubborn seller and it took us 8 months to move but we did because of that wonderful marketing that we have spent so much on.

So we make a trip back to the printer and pick them up and then run over to the post office to drop them off, stamp and mail them which cost us how much? Another $75.00 or so?

Crap my day has just begun and I've already spent how much? Well who's counting? Certainly not the blond doing this interview and certainly not that (__) clown from REDFIN.

But now comes the fun part. It's about noon by now and we get to go out and get our daily dose of disrespect and hatred from the FSBO's and Expireds. So we head back to the gas station to load up the Jeep with gas...another $55.00. Can someone loan me a 50 spot? I'm runnin' outta money now! Oh, crap, I guess I can add it to that credit card? Can't I? Well, I guess I better. So that $55.00 just turned into that plus the interest. OH BOY this day is getting expensive.

So we go knock on that FSBO's door that we seen just before feeding the Jeep it's daily dose of my 6%. She answers the door and just as I'm starting to say my name she screams "Get the @#$%#& off my property I'm not listing with no #$%#%$ REALTOR!" to which we must smile and say "Thank you mam for your time and I'm sorry I've bothered you." while in our mind thinking "Thank you for treating me like a sub-human even though you don't even know that I'm the nicest guy in the world."

Now we get back in the Jeep and head over to that expired listing. Surely this will be better because this guy must like REALTORS, I mean, he's already listed with one before so at least I have a chance, right?

Well, I get there and I knock on the door. No one home. GRR, so I leave $10.00 worth of materials at the door and make notes to contact them or return at a later date in my day planner that costs me about $20.00 -$30.00 each time I want a new one. Maybe I should just start using those $1.79 spiral notepads that teenagers use in school? Sure would let me keep more of my 6% right?

Oh crap, I forgot, I only get 3%...I have to give that agent who brought the buyer at least 3 don't I? Oh well, do I need gas again yet? No, I'm good.

Let's head over to this other expired and PRAY he had at least somewhat of a good agent and he's not in pure hatred of all REALTORS and I haven't caught him coming back from Home Depot purchasing that For Sale By Owner sign. I'm sure I could have given him one out of the many I've acquired from the FSBOs after returning to the FSBO's house that treated me like garbage the first 6 times I visited them and they have finally realized that trying to sell on their own just wasn't going to work and they ask me to replace their FSBO sign with mine and take theirs with me because they will never use a FSBO sign again.

So we start over to the next expired, which just happens to be going right by my Car Insurance Company which is due for the yearly beating I must take from them and I ask "Ms Stahl, do you mind if we make a quick stop here so I can sign up for my new insurance policy that is due?" So we go inside where my friendly insurance agent reminds me that even though I have a perfect driving record, the requirements that my broker states (not too mention the law ) for the amount of insurance I must have on my gas pig that my payments are going to be $250/Mth with a huge down payment as well. Man, I sure hope this next expired that I am about to visit is going to turn into a paycheck!

Ok, I won't take you other agents through the rest of this day in detail but it went something like this. I got to the next expired who also wasn't home and two more who decided they were going to stay put and not sell and I finally got to one that is willing to speak to me about listing their home and made the appointment.

So, Ms. Stahl and I drop by the local Office Depot where I needed to go to get those new drums and ink cartridges for my color laser printer that cost just over $1000 when I bought it and I would be lucky if I could off it on Ebay for $200 if I decided to quit this business and get a job at Waterhead-Mart as a door greeter.

So we spend another grand here at Office Depot but thank God for that Office Depot reward card where I will get a whopping 5% back on that grand that I just spent in Office Depot. That sure keeps a bit more of that 3% in my pocket.

We are headed back to the office when I get a call from my vendor of my 800 number stating they just tried to bill my credit card for my monthly bill and my card was declined. I assure them that if they do it again tomorrow --but make sure and do it early- they will be able to place the charge as I've reached my daily limit on that card and they just tried to bill me too late. To which they reply, "Do you have a different card we can bill?"...blah, blah blah...
...well, you know what I'm getting at.

By the end of this day that blond would be in tears. She would go on live TV and apologize for ever suggesting that we don't earn our keep and she show the world the math that most of us are probably making just around minimum wage and are just so smart that we have figured out how to use our money so wisely that we appear to be well to do. Wouldn't she?

Man, just "WRITING" this blog entry has made me depressed and tired...but I got an imaginary listing appointment so I think I will rest easy and get back to work with researching thoroughly how this home should be priced, look over my notes on the tour of the home to see what suggestions I need to make to stage it properly, post a blog here to get suggestions from you wonderful people on how I might deal with this unique situation I'm about to encounter and then prepare the paperwork for the listing along with my presentation and then print up it up right after I drop those $1000 worth of drums and ink cartridges into my printer.

It's midnight by now and I think I should check my email, respond to all those leads I got and maybe catch some ZZZZs before I have to get back up at 6:00 a.m.. The early bird gets the worm right?

Good day Ms. Stahl. I hope this Realtor Ride Experience has done you at least some good and you and the other media monkey's will get the $%##@ off our backs!


Scott McClain
Realty Agent Professionals Team


Kathy said... forgot to mention the costs of a shrink we need from being abused and lack of respect from some folks out there.

Realty Agent Professionals Team said...

I must have forgotten that! I guess I should have added both that and the cost of getting treated for CRS disease that this business can cause too huh? :)

frank said...

Wow, can't say I have ever seen a rant like this before!

By the way, I found it via a link on Redfin's blog.

There is nothing wrong with discounting.
Heck, I used to discount... but then I got good.


Adrian said...

very funny.

here's the problem.

homeowners are paying for your prospecting. some agents spend 50% to 80% of their time prospecting for business...

hmmm. as a consumer, I dont want to pay a higher price for you just finding other clients. hence the growing popularity of ebay, amazon, itunes, where the costly middle man is cut out.

its a tuff bizness. i know I'm in it. but perhaps if you cut out the broker and worked from home you would atleast keep more in your pocket. and that way charge less.

Discounting is an automaic lead generator. try it.